I’ll sleep on it

I have never put a lot of thought into beds. They’re just there in your bedroom. You lie on them. The only time you actually use them is when you are unconscious. Why would you need to put a lot of thought into them?

It’s hard now to believe I ever thought like that. Now that I have my own house, now that I am a man, I have realised the truth: that buying a bed is the most important decision you can ever make.

Let us put aside for the moment the whirlwind of confusion that is choosing a mattress – whether it is open coil, pocket sprung, memory foam or some chimeric hybrid of all three, in the end all that really matters with a mattress is comfort. Any decision that you have to make by lying down on a succession of more and more comfortable beds cannot be that taxing.

No, the real decision is the frame. Not simply because there are a vast range of frames available in a host of options, but because this bed is more than just a bed. In choosing this frame you are not just choosing a piece of furniture, you are choosing a way of life. It will be the focus for the bedroom, the first room you will see in the morning, and the last room that you see at night. Once the bed is chosen, the rest of the bedroom furniture must be selected to match – wardrobes, drawers and dressers, all are spawned from that first crucial decision – the choice of bed. But it does not stop there.

This is the first major item of furniture that will be purchased for the house. Which means that this isn’t just defining the bedroom – this is now defining the ruling aesthetic for the entire building. It’s no longer just a choice between getting a mahogany or a walnut finish on our headboard, this is a choice that determines what colour we will paint our living room, what kitchen cupboards we will get, what the experience of the next 5/10/15+ years of our lives will be. It’s a bit of a tricky one.

So now I have to decide if I want to live immersed in a world of contemporary simplicity or classic grandeur, of angular corners or organic curves, of natural woods or modern synthetics. Also: king or double?

Having gone through a phase of admiring solid wood sleigh beds (when no one was around I would totally pretend I had reindeer attached to it) I am currently favouring a sort of contemporary retro 50’s chic look:

Valentino Contemporary Platform Bed By Emmemobili Furniture.jpgooh


This is all still subject to change of course (especially since I can’t find any beds that a) actually look like this and b) I can afford), but time is of the essense – currently I’m sleeping on a second hand sofa bed that leaves me closer and closer to permanent spinal damage every night I sleep on it. It’s been 3 nights so far and I’m not sure I can feel my right leg any more. A decision must be made!

Maybe I should just go to Ikea?

21 thoughts on “I’ll sleep on it

  1. rewnad

    Heh heh… becoming a man is indeed fraught with many unforeseen perils they don’t tell you about at Man academy.

    Personally I like “ooh” but am not so much a fan of “ahh”

    1. eruditebaboon Post author

      Yes, at my academy all they taught us was how to open beer bottles without using a bottle opener, and how to burp loudly. These skills were suprisingly hard to transfer to the field of bed selection.

      1. rewnad

        Here in Australia the emphasis at the “Mancademy” is more on Bbq’ing Snags and the drinking of beer… usually at the same time. Opening beer bottles without an opener is a post grad honours course for the exceptionally Manly.

        I think it’s assumed the world over that we Men will find an appropriate “Mate” who will make all the decor decisions so that we can get on with the serious business of being Manly.

  2. Anonymous

    I haven’t been able to find the man academy yet, I think it’s hiding.

    I have to disagree, and say ahh looks much better. Ooh seems as if it’s going to shoot rockets at you out of those little tubes, ahh looks as if that backboard is about to zoom up into the stratosphere, so you can have a little nemo bed that soars through the sky while you sleep. Also: Pinstripes. Need I say more?

    You should probably just find a really soft squoosy comfy bed, and it’s actual design coolness be damned, that’s usually how it works out. Rember, of the 3 c’s, cool and comfy and cheap, you’re lucky if you get 2 out of 3.

    I just made that rule up, but it sounds as if it should be true. It has alliteration after all.

    Congratulations on the house! Try not to break it.

  3. 19monster87

    i guess if i had to pick from those two, itd be “ooh” but they are both pretty weird…and really low!

    BUT, im here to suggest you compromise on the size and get a queen – its the size between king and double
    …king is actually pretty damn big, you could go with that if the rest of the room has little to no furniture…you could go with the double if your room is small or you have a lot of other furniture

    1. eruditebaboon Post author

      I think that the english kingsize is actually the same size as the american queensize, so we’re actually talking about the same thing! I’m not sure why it is though – perhaps our rooms are smaller, but we still want our beds to _sound_ big?

    1. eruditebaboon Post author

      Maybe I should just cover my entire bedroom floor in pillows and call the whole thing a bed?

      (I have always secretly dreamed of doing this. One day it will be a reality!)

      1. miksmiks

        oh wow that sounds like awfully fun, except that you will still be getting closer to permanent spinal damage.

        do say if you ever manage to carry out this dream. i think there will be many followers!

  4. tozocomic

    We bought a bed this very week – it arrived today but won’t get slept on for a few days yet, so I can’t say what it’s like comfyness-wise:
    Not earth-shattering in design but the solid oak is lovely and heavy and will go with however we decide to decorate.
    We bought a king-size and went for a ‘memory foam’ mattress as people we know swear by it.
    I’ve just re-read the above and realise I sound just like my mum.

    1. eruditebaboon Post author

      Thanks for the link – looks like there are a lot of interesting beds on that website to browse through.
      I think we’ve decided to get a memory foam mattress too – I like the fact that it use technology designed for the space program. It is a mattress from the FUTURE.
      It is very hard to talk about beds and retain your street cred. Perhaps I should start using obscure slang and text speak? Me nu matt’ is wll sic!
      That sounded cool, right?

  5. jdalton

    Either bed looks very nice, I definitely approve the old-timey meets modernist angle you’re going for, but I may not be the best to judge as so far all my post- Man Academy beds have either been rentals or gifts. Then there was the two months I spent with naught but an air mattress on a cold hard floor. After that any bed seems like a triple king-sized.

    1. eruditebaboon Post author

      Compared to the inch thick mattress on a lumpy sofabed I am currently sleeping on, an airbed sounds pretty luxurious right now. I think I am starting to develop a hunch.

      1. Anonymous


        While you are hunting for a matt’is how about getting one of those foam mattress pads for your sofa bed? They call them egg crates over here for some reason. They are a couple of inches thick and are bumpy on one side. They saved my back during college and through out the rest of my days. They have ’em in america – I hope they exist over there!

  6. Anonymous

    I have heard it claimed that beds and shoes are the most important purchases; when you’re not in one you are usually in the other.

  7. dubrr

    The Mattress Matters, Not the Bed

    Beds usually arent on many peoples minds when it comes to spending hard earned money, but sleep is very important for everyone. Last night I spent the night at my girlfriends house and she has a bed from ikea. I guess the bed isnt what matters but its the mattress that for sure matters. Today I woke up with a soar back and neck, which is a bad start to my day. As far as im concerned, I wouldnt spend much money on a bed, but instead I would spend a lot on comfortable mattress. I did however find a great site for Children’s Bedroom Furniture. These are high quality affordable beds, the only problem is that the consumer must assemble them! Hope that helps


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